Poker story CONTEST (ends Oct. 30)

Posts: 1740 · Posted: 07.10.2006, 17:39

and out jumped maw who was trying to keep her boots safe with her.she sprung from the hamper ran through the party with royal right behind her trying to get her boots and orange laughing so hard well she turned her edibles into mush on the floor. maw hid behind nono and nono said.........

Posts: 647 · Posted: 07.10.2006, 19:38

"No no!"
So maw stepped back into view and decided she needed to have a security alarm installed on her boots, just to be safe.
Just then, over all the noise could be heard the sound of a spoon being tapped loudly against a glass. Clink, clink, clink, clink... finally, it worked and everyone became quiet, waiting to hear the announcement that the Guru was about to make...

Posts: 127 · Posted: 07.10.2006, 20:08

"Ahem, there is a BIG poker hand being played here people." The Guru was holding AK suited, and the flop came AAA! He slyly checked to OC, who immediatelately pushed ALL-IN (all her chips and a vibrating "microphone") The Guru called and showed his AK. MUHAHAHA, OC laughed and flipped over her cards...two Jokers in the hole!!!?

Posts: 846 · Posted: 07.10.2006, 20:17

But the two jokers in the hole were db with his exwife and Al with Tabatha, causing the poker guru to say this a poker party not an orgy so get your two male scrawny butts and two female ghetto booties over to....

Posts: 647 · Posted: 07.10.2006, 20:39

the next table where you belong. "Dealer, the cards please..."
Down came the holecards, 2 per player, then the flop, which was....

Posts: 1825 · Posted: 08.10.2006, 10:21

The OLD MAID card with 2 fish! Someone's remarked that for the first time in history they finally had the makings of a good hand!
Guru's eyes were bugging out while he mumbled about all his brilliant students brains turning to mush.
A 4 year old (that should never have been up this late OR with this crowd) ran over and grabbed her Old Maild cards off the table.

Someone at the table..

Posts: 647 · Posted: 08.10.2006, 11:31

tried to grab them back, but the tot was too fast and got away with 'em. This turned out to be a good thing, because...

Posts: 127 · Posted: 08.10.2006, 15:45

the esteemed Poker Guru had witnessed enough shannanigans. His high moral standards were being compromised by the very friends he invited. As he stood up to restore order, the slit in his Scottish kilt opened just enough to reveal the crotchless pantyhose underneath.....

Posts: 647 · Posted: 08.10.2006, 16:24

"At least I THINK that's what I saw!" thought darrin6, craning his neck in a futile attempt to catch another glimpse, but it was not to be, because the Guru had resumed his place at his table and had even managed to restore at least some semblance of order to the room.
"Let's try this again," intoned the Guru, and in his most authoritative voice, he said, "Dealer,..."

Posts: 127 · Posted: 08.10.2006, 17:52

"From now on, PLEASE make sure you've removed the jokers. And let me remind you, kind sir, that deuces and one-eyed jacks, or anything else are NOT wild in Texas Holdem!" The Guru heard someone snickering. Looking in the direction of Orange Crush.......

Posts: 647 · Posted: 08.10.2006, 18:33

... he gave a furtive wink that only she saw, and then said, "...

Posts: 1825 · Posted: 08.10.2006, 20:05

"LET THE GAMES BEGIN!" Everyone looked like they were playing musical chairs trying to find someplace to sit.

OC got up and started up her Bingo Machine. The balls were rolling around and her cat sitting on the table batted at them. The next thing you know....

Posts: 647 · Posted: 08.10.2006, 20:36

the poor cat missed and fell off the table, landing on his feet, of course, the only real damage being to his ego, as all the players around him roared in laughter.
With the distraction going on under the table, no one noticed the front door opening, and a latecomer strolling in...

Posts: 127 · Posted: 08.10.2006, 21:10

None other than Dr. Crush!! What a snazzy dresser.... a white tuxedo complete with a flowing white cape, diamond-stud handled cane, monacle, and a white tophat! Maw took one look at him and said, ".......

Posts: 1825 · Posted: 08.10.2006, 21:56

"Ohhhhhhhh we have a magician! Wonder what he will pull out of that top hat!"
Meanwhile back at the tables...