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Bad news in my home recently- well wishes needed!



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PostPosted: 02.07.2006, 07:03 Reply with quoteBack to top

Well, not sure about posting this, but felt the need somehow...
As some of you may remember from earlier posts of mine here or at CC, I live with a man who is quite a bit older than I am... he's 61 or 2; I'm 37.
He's always been in PERFECT health, as far as we knew, so the age difference has really never come up in anything... that is, til now... and I guess really, this could happen to anyone, no matter what age, but I guess it still seems to me it happened because he's that age.

He had a MAJOR heart attack on Monday.

Actually, it must have begun on Sunday, but went to the hospital Monday, not having any idea that it was a heart attack.

He's still in the hospital. He's only just now been taken off FULL life support! The doctor has been very blunt with me from the minute almost that I walked into the emergency room, after he'd been delivered there by ambulance. Said repeatedly he didn't know if he would survive this, which about put ME into shock too, hearing that.

He was up on a TALL ladder, painting the house, Sunday afternoon - very hot day, very tall ladder. He came down, saying he didn't feel well. I was at the computer, as always, so he asked me to look up symptoms of heat stroke, heat exhaustion or things like that.

But we just figured what he needed to do was drink a bunch of water, and stay inside, and he'd be fine soon enough.

But instead of getting better, he started getting worse. Fast.

I kept telling him he was going to need to go to the doctor, then started telling him I would take him to the emergency room, then started saying I ought to call an ambulance... all these suggestions, he objected to. Said he was fine or would be in a minute. He's English, and (whether that's the reason or not), he's always been VERY "tight" when it comes to money, and he was worried about the cost, even though he has plenty of money... also I know he didn't want to look like he needed any help, a pride thing, you know.

But it finally got to the point where I just said I was calling them anyway, doesn't matter what you say, because by then, he was looking real bad.

This was now almost 24 hours from when he came down off the ladder. This was Monday afternoon now.
He tried to just walk down the hall, fell twice, hit his head, so now he's bleeding, and then wanted to just lie there where he was on the floor in the hall.
Then he started retching which is probably a good thing, because that's what made it seem bad enough to me for me to call an ambulance. He hadn't eaten anything for a long time, so it was just water, but it made the whole situation seem a lot worse to me, so I finally called them.

The paramedics said his blood pressure was so low when they got there that they could hardly find a pulse at all. They knew right away how serious it was, which is what we hadn't realized at all yet.

So they took him in; I drove myself there after them. The doctor grabbed me almost as soon as I walked in, tried to explain a lot of things, but my head was just reeling, after he'd said that about the survival rate. I still didn't get it.

When I finally could see him, it was such a shock. All these machines and things behind him, attached to him in some way on every part of his body. Electrodes and patches and wires and tubes, coming off of him in every direction.

And he was still quite obviously not out of the woods yet. He did not look calm or at rest whatsoever. They said he was in shock. They said his blood pressure was way too low and they weren't able to get it up where it had to be yet, and that was the major problem at the moment.

He was conscious, but he couldn't talk at all, with the breathing tube down his throat. But he seemed very aware of all that was going on, and that I was there, and who I was, and all that.

But when he did open his eyes and look at me, he looked scared to death. And I have never seen him look or act scared ever in any situation. I felt so sorry for him.
His family is all in England, what there is of it, only a mother and 2 sisters really, and he never ever talks to them for some reason. For no reason really, they just don't talk. But the hospital was telling me to get hold of them and fast.

Instead I called his work. They're more his family now then anyone. Before he had even been at the hopsital more than an hour or 2, 4 people from his work were there, waiting in the wings, as I was, to find out what was going to happen.
My parents live only a couple miles from his hospital, so I went over there and told them what happened and waited there for awhile, then they came back up there with me, and nothing seemed any different yet.

We all finally went home for the moment. He and I have 4 dogs and an aquarium full of fish and a goldfish pond outside, so everyone was getting hungry here. I went home by myself, and sometime late late at night, I called the hospital to check on him, and they said they had been trying to get hold of me, that they were worried they were going to lose him before the nite was over, and to tell any family he had to come up there NOW too.

I went by myself as fast as I could, and nothing seemed to change for hours.
But I guess somewhere along the way, things were getting better, even though we could hardly tell, because somehow, right now, he is so much better I can hardly believe it's the same man they were talking about just a couple nights ago.
Things improved little by little, so it was hard to tell, but things are definitely better now. They took that tube form his throat yesterday morning, which he was infinitely grateful to them for. He hated that more than anything. So then he could finally talk again. That one thing made him feel so much better.
Then today, some other machine was disconnected from him, and he was able to get out of bed for the first time, just to sit in a chair to eat his first solid foods since he got there. No, actually I guess all that was yesterday.

And then today, they actually had him free of all the machines and whatever else there was, and so he was able to walk outside the room, just down the hall, but he was very very happy about all that.

And then he called me just while ago, saying they thought he MIGHT get to go home TOMORROW.
I think that's probably a little over optimistic, but even so, it must mean it'll be soon, and that from here, it's only getting better, and they're not worried about him backsliding now. He's out of the woods.

There's still a lot that's not going to be any fun, and we don't know yet how this will affect him even when he "all better". I don't even know if they would say he's giong back to work or not. Ever. He's not that far from retirement anyway... but he definitely expects to, and doesn't want it any other way, but I know from what I've found out since this happened, while researching it on the Net, that he's not going to be "running on all 4 cylinders" so to speak, after this is over.
Whatever part of his heart was damaged, from the time he came off the ladder until the ambulance arrived, that part of the heart is not coming back. This much I think I've understood from what I've been reading. It was without blood or oxygen for a long time, since some artery was so clogged that it couldn't deliver anything to part of his heart, and that part is useless now, even if they do open that artery back up. He'll be weaker, etc., from now on. I just don't know to what extent.

It's going to be bad for him, no matter what, because he's very independent and proud and so unused to being taken care of or not being able to do certain things, etc...but I hope this near-death experience will give him some perspective, maybe, if you know what I mean.

So... anyway, I don't guess you needed so much detail huh? Trust me, there's a LOT I left out, so really, this is the short version!

He was raised a Catholic, but quit going to church long long time ago, and in fact, says he's an atheist now if ever asked, although from other things I hear from him other times, I can tell that's not true. But we don't go to church, and we don't pray, but I know some of you do, and maybe you could still include him in your prayers even so, if you think that'd be alright. I really don't know what's going to happen still, and I don't know how I'm going to do with it all, and I really don't feel like I'm the best person to be in control in this situation, (or in ANY really!) so maybe that might help a little to guide me through this somehow...

Thanks for listening; even though writing it all out made me cry a hundred different times, I feel like it helped somehow. I'm on my way back up to the hospital now - it's really neat at this hospital, they don't have set visitng hours at all - 24 hour access to patients. It's a heart hospital only too, so that's a good thing, I'd think.

So I'll hopefully find out more good news real soon.

Again, thanks for listening - I do feel a little better now.

Take care everyone
Rebecca (sunspun!)

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PostPosted: 02.07.2006, 09:44 Reply with quoteBack to top

wishing you all the strength you need, will think of both of you in my prayers,
dear greetings

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PostPosted: 06.07.2006, 13:12 Reply with quoteBack to top

Oh God Rebecca I just barely read your post. Bless your heart you are living a night mare, I wish I could only do something or say something to comfort you. I sincerely hope he is on the mend now! Please let us know when you can hun.

My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Remember to take care of yourself too! He will need you to be healthy when he gets home, if he's not already there.

Hugs,

Rita

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PostPosted: 22.07.2006, 08:01 Reply with quoteBack to top

wow sunspun....Rebecca....very sorry to read what your going thru., though glad you took the time to type it for us to know. and as Orange said dont forget to keep yourself healthy!! my prayers are with you and yours.....and please let us know more.

joy

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